To be clear, not talking about this community, obviously 😛.

What’s the point of writing down rules, if mods just do what they want? But I suppose that’s the risk you take when you call someone a liar in a small community; they might be a mod.

Edit: I’m not trying to say that mods suck, they perform a useful and often thankless job. Just that it can be difficult for small communities to get a healthy number of good mods, which can become a problem.

  • @GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    121 year ago

    Saying things like

    “Go on, tell me…”

    Or “thanks for playing along”

    Is the stuff. Nobody likes that.

    • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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      11 year ago

      Yeah I don’t think that’s the issue, when the person who showed up to tell me and play along took the first one completely literally and the second one as sneering sarcasm. Where the goddamn mod chimes in is after a bone-dry run-down of how both were misunderstandings. Their scolding simultaneously blames me for expecting people to be psychic and also for talking down to them. How the fuck is anyone supposed to deal with that self-contradictory blend of bad-faith readings?

      • eltimablo
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        41 year ago

        This is the exact kind of aggression people were saying was unwelcome.

        • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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          11 year ago

          Literally none of this was there. I’m annoyed at all of you - but not the guy I was talking to, in the first place. You are inferring something that was not there.

          From a bare explanation of agreement.

          Being concise didn’t help. Being verbose didn’t help. Being conversational didn’t help. Being literal didn’t help. I tried everything and all of it is still being misinterpreted as the polar fucking opposite of what I actually fucking wrote.

          • eltimablo
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            41 year ago

            Being concise didn’t help. Being verbose didn’t help. Being conversational didn’t help. Being literal didn’t help. I tried everything and all of it is still being misinterpreted as the polar fucking opposite of what I actually fucking wrote.

            Same here, so I’ll try it your way:

            You’re acting like a hyperaggressive, condescending dickhead in every single one of those comments, and though I personally agree with you, I still want to slap your teeth straight because you’re being an utter prick about it.

            Just because you agree with someone doesn’t mean you’re not doing so in a hugely offputting manner.

            • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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              11 year ago

              Same here

              Same where? You had one comment and it’s just the same tutting. That’s not comparable to the variety of ways I tried de-escalating with the initial guy.

              Now you want to claim you agree with me - about the widespread misreading of anything I write in the worst possible way - and you’re threatening violence over that same misreading. What the fuck is this conversation?

              ‘You were very rude disagreeing with that guy.’ I said I agree with them and thanked them.

              ‘Well you were aggressive toward people critiquing your rude disagreement.’ I told them there was no such thing, because I said I agree with them and thanked them.

              ‘It’s plainly these specific turns of phrase.’ I have invited half a dozen people to suggest what I was supposed to do besides agree and thank them.

              ‘Hey buddy, I agree with you, but I wanna kick your head in for explaining how you’re unhappy with all this condemnation.’ This topic has been the most compelling argument I’ve ever experienced, against trying to be nice to people online.

                • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                  11 year ago

                  My favorite part of this haranguing is how y’all don’t hesitate to declare I’m subhuman and due for getting bones broken, but I’m the rude and hostile one for saying please and thanks.

                  This is the rudest thing you could think to say to someone, and it’s over nothing.

                  I can’t demean your character worse than you’ve just done, yourself.

                  • eltimablo
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                    1 year ago

                    I’ll take the hit just to watch you roll around in your own verbal diarrhea

                    My favorite part of this haranguing is how y’all don’t hesitate to declare I’m subhuman

                    Please point out the exact sentence, or set of sentences, where I said that.

                    This is the rudest thing you could think to say to someone, and it’s over nothing.

                    Good, perhaps you might start to understand now that you’ve been on the receiving end of your own behavior.

                    You’ve also not addressed anyone who’s mentioned your incredibly condescending, snide tone. Literally nobody. Not even to be dismissive about it. You can ignore your problem all you want, but the fact is that the way you talk means you could be reading me a document saying that I’ve just been given $10 billion and I’d still fucking hate you. You asked why you were treated poorly, people answered unanimously, and you don’t even have the wherewithal to consider the point that everyone is trying to pound through your brow ridge.

                    You’re the problem. Your behavior is the problem. The way you talk is, you fuckin guessed it, absolutely the problem.

                    You got your answer. Accept it or don’t, just do it somewhere else because nobody fucking likes you.

      • @Stumblinbear@pawb.social
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        1 year ago

        Yeah I don’t think that’s the issue,

        That’s absolutely the issue. You were being condescending. If you can’t be polite then don’t respond at all.

        • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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          11 year ago

          How could I be any more direct and polite with someone that confused about what I said? I’m not sneering at their idiocy and making remarks about their parentage. I walk them through a rhetorical device they demonstrably did not understand, and apparently that was the wrong thing.

          What the fuck was the right thing?

          What sequence of words do you want, instead? At this point I’m not convinced there is a right answer.

          • @Stumblinbear@pawb.social
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            41 year ago

            Someone else already mentioned your “go on, tell me” and “thanks for playing along.” Both of those offer nothing to the conversation and only exist to be condescending.

            • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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              11 year ago

              ‘Here’s what you said wrong!’

              ‘What should I say instead?’

              ‘Here’s what you said wrong!’

              Over and over and over. None of you are listening.

              And it’s NOT condescension, it’s building a fucking comparison! It’s a sixth-grade-reading-comprehension rhetorical device. It’s getting ahead of an obvious yeah-but someone might make… and then someone made that yeah-but anyway. And then got mad that I told them: I agree, thank you.

              The fuck was I supposed to tell them? If there was no right answer - none of this criticism means anything.

              • eltimablo
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                41 year ago

                ‘What should I say instead?’

                Nothing. Leave that part out. I don’t think it’s the entire site that has trouble with reading comprehension, just you.

                • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                  11 year ago

                  ‘How do I correct misunderstandings?’

                  ‘Don’t.’

                  Further gold from the most unforgivably hostile participant in this nonsense.

                  • eltimablo
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                    41 year ago

                    You didn’t ask that question. I answered the one you did. Congrats on the novel combination of moving the goalposts and putting words in people’s mouths, I guess? Seriously, do you not read your own words?

                    People keep telling you which parts of that conversation would have been better left out if you wanted to sound sincere, but all you do is further attempt to weaponize your feigned ignorance.

                    You know damn well that you’re acting like a condescending prick. Enough people have pointed out the things you could have changed in that exchange so that you didn’t sound like a condescending prick. And now, here you are, acting like a condescending prick to anyone who dares to answer the question you asked on a public forum.

              • @Stumblinbear@pawb.social
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                11 year ago

                Literally just don’t say that. The entire rest of your comments were generally “fine” but you included hostile, unnecessary wording.

                • @mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                  11 year ago

                  ‘How am I suppose to make this comparison without an invitation being labeled as hostile?’

                  ‘Don’t.’

                  Less helpful than you might think.

                  People: the comparison is the point of the comment. And even if that was somehow the worst possible way to make it, I’m still left wondering how the fuck to de-escalate confusion, if direct agreement is enough to launch monocles from faces. If “thanks” is hostile, what the hell are we doing.