Parents worldwide have proposed a new group of events that showcase the everyday heroics required to raise children. These proposed events promise to be as grueling as the triathlon.
1. The Family Dog Walk The Family Dog Walk combines canine management with child safety in a chaotic, high-stakes event. Participants must walk two untrained dogs on leashes while pushing a stroller and ensuring a toddler doesn’t dart into oncoming traffic. This event requires world-class coordination, iron-clad patience, and the reflexes of a professional athlete. Extra points for picking up dog poop without the stroller rolling away.
2. The Toddler PJ Wrestling Match Inspired by the ancient art of Greco-Roman wrestling, the Toddler PJ Wrestling Match challenges parents to wrestle a wriggling toddler into a pair of zip-up pajamas that are at least one size too small. Competitors must contend with the notorious “alligator roll,” where the toddler thrashes and flails with the agility of a gazelle. Points are awarded for speed, technique, and completing the match without the parent or toddler crying.
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EDIT: Changed article picture to stock photo due to feedback
Welp, someone at Telltale Times has a toddler. Aside from the dog walk, this is pretty much my day everyday without hyperbole. Would be funny if it wasn’t so exhausting.
Oh, and to add, they need an isolation event because spending the day with kids and kids alone is awful for both introvert and extrovert alike. I don’t care to go out but I also can’t be alone with my thoughts.
5 y/o, 2y/o and a dog here, I feel your pain! 😆
You’re right, I forgot to include events that test parents’ sanity and mental fortitude. That would really break the parents that are skating through the events due to their natural athletic ability.