https://lemmy.nz/post/18610200/13255360

This user describes how most of the women-centered communities on Lemmy were shut down due to harassment of their members.

Another user adds “We need a safe space, but most of the women I know on here don’t have the time or energy to moderate it. And there’s so few of us, it feels like it’s not worth the effort anyway.”

    • @spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
      5•3 months ago

      Yeah okay thanks i guess it just comes off really not nice for you to say that.

      if you posted a list of the worst incidents in your experience of abuse, i truly doubt you would love my response to be calling you a cherry picker. even if you don’t mean it, it looks like siding with the abuser. it’s NOT cherry picking to tell my literal own damn story of what i deal with. if you truly mean differently, maybe choose different words

        • @spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
          2•3 months ago

          This situation seems to have spiraled a bit—I logged off for a few hours and came back to a bunch of DMs from you.

          I want to make it clear that I don’t have any hard feelings toward you. However, this conversation has reached a point where it’s no longer productive.

          You wouldn’t go to the comments of a person of color as they share their experiences and feelings about racism and say, “I only ever see cherry-picked examples like you have here.” But that’s essentially what you said to me about gender-based abuse. That kind of comment is: a) dismissive and encourages others to doubt the stories of victims, and b) a conversation-ender.

          What you communicated to me is that my lived experience isn’t enough for you. As someone with a normal life and not a researcher, I have no way to provide the additional “data” you seem to require.

            • @spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
              1•3 months ago

              i just don’t want to bud. you ruined all the good i could have gotten from this conversation before it even started.

                • @spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
                  3•3 months ago

                  dont worry im not alone i have plenty of people in my corner who dont spam me with weird begging behavior when i stop interacting with them

                  to be clear you seem nice you are just being offputting and weird doing this negging behavior- if this was a real life relationship i would cut ties with you immediately. please chill tf out.