• madjo
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    3 days ago

    Well when men keep hearing “don’t approach us”, we shouldn’t be shocked when men don’t approach people.

    • mosiacmango
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      2 days ago

      At the same time, lots of men are really shitty when they “approach” women.

      “Don’t approach us” is a response to men’s behaviour, not the other way around.

        • mosiacmango
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          2 days ago

          Very incel-y, but sure.

          Or, you could take it as a statement with the subtext that it clearly has, which is “dont approach us if youre going to be an asshole.”

          If you would rather stew in bitterness than adjust to the above, the first option is likely better for everyone.

          • @SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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            182 days ago

            I think if women meant that they would say it instead of “never approach women”

            Blaming men for listening to women is some new level of crazy

            • @ExtantHuman@lemm.ee
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              62 days ago

              Your inability to understand nuance might be part of the problem. Having to explain every single exception spelled out literally takes too long to get the guy acting creepy away from them.

                • @0xD@infosec.pub
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                  2 days ago

                  Yeah, because you’re drowning in self-pity instead of understanding that men are the problem in the vast majority of cases. You’re bitching around instead, that’s typical incel behavior.

                  You can go up to a woman and flirt with her - just don’t be an asshole and accept a “no” without crying or further harassing her ;) It’s really not hard. Most appreciate it.

            • mosiacmango
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              2 days ago

              So option 1 I guess.

              Way to be mad at 4 billion people because you dont want to be a decent human being.

      • @SomGye
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        493 days ago

        Step 2 - don’t be unattractive.

      • @surph_ninja@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Just be funny and not a piece of shit. My wife is so gorgeous, people immediately know I have a good sense of humor and I’m supportive. I’m certainly not rich.

        Granted, this is not a good approach for the apps. You need to be able to sell yourself in person. Best dating strategy in this case is making many friends, and some of them will be charmed into attraction. If I were dating, speed dating would probably be workable for this approach.

      • Fat Tony
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        2 days ago

        If there is one thing the internet has overwhelmingly seceded at it’s convincing people that looks are absolutely everything. A lot of people I know tend to take their dating app experience as solid evidence of their romantic inaptitude. Even when it’s all too well known they are scams designed to keep you on their platform for as long as possible.

        I know that preaching about stepping up to women may feel like the same way as saying: “Just be attractive, bro.” And if it does, to that I say: Do it and practise it for the sake of it. “That looks like a nice person, let’s find out what they’re about, for no damn reason at all.”

        Anyway, my two cents. And if it helps whenever you’re scared of striking up a conversation just keep in mind: “The alternative is dating apps.”

    • Yerbouti
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      353 days ago

      Cry me a river. I’ve never heard a women say “don’t approach me”, but I’ve heard many say “don’t be a douche” and “stop thinking you’re a fucking victim”.

        • @ExtantHuman@lemm.ee
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          52 days ago

          Apparently you already forgot their reasoning behind it. A bear is a known quantity. Humans can lie to gain your trust, then turn on you. They weren’t saying all men are bad, they were saying that meeting a stand man alone in the woods - you have no idea how this person will act.

          • @newfie@lemmy.ml
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            102 days ago

            The bear metaphor was obviously thinly veiled racism/xenophobia from the start. Lots of conservative/moderate women who are terrified of anyone who isn’t white or who is “illegal”

            • @ExtantHuman@lemm.ee
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              52 days ago

              That’s…just no. Wtf? No.

              Source: I’ve actually listened to women, in person, describe their reasoning, instead of making up my own justification for something like the incel community decided to do.

              • @newfie@lemmy.ml
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                22 days ago

                The goal was to increase fear of the “other” - which is a classic right wing tactic.

                The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections

                  • @newfie@lemmy.ml
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                    1 day ago

                    No it isn’t, it’s literally what astroturfing is and how public relations campaigns are run. I know people who literally do shit like this for a living

                    Doesn’t mean the original meme was created by an agency necessarily, but it certainly was boosted and amplified by conservatives to spark anger against PoCs/immigrants, and to build intergender resentment amongst men. Which worked wonderfully for Trump, as is evidenced by his strong performance with Gen Z men

              • @newfie@lemmy.ml
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                22 days ago

                The goal was to increase fear of the “other” - which is a classic right wing tactic.

                The bear meme was a conservative astroturfed campaign to push people right - which is why it appeared shortly before the 2024 US elections

        • Yerbouti
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          142 days ago

          IDK women are not scared of me. Maybe the problem is you? Maybe you’re not the victim you think you are and you’re just an ass?

          • @gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            32 days ago

            women are not scared of me

            So you’re a pathetically tiny and weak man let, or you’re just unaware of the feelings of women?

            • Yerbouti
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              12 days ago

              You’re not a man, you’re a victim lol. Get use to porn.

            • Yerbouti
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              42 days ago

              Geez you incels are stupid. Between victims like you and wannabe “alpha males” who wanna jerk one another, I agree mens are now a bunch of losers who wont ever get laid.

                • Yerbouti
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                  12 days ago

                  I thought about it and you’re right, you’re a victim. Women are bad, just don’t approach them and find other dudes likes you to hang out. Good luck.

                  • @SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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                    1 day ago

                    I’ve been in a loving relationship with my partner for 8 years.

                    I am trying to help bring perspective to incels like you.

                    A more equal dating landscape means more equal relationships, and overall that’s a good thing in the long run.

                    Women are still learning that if they tell men to not approach them they need to start asking men out if they want relationships instead of whining on the internet.

                    No longer can women just sit around and wait for a relationship to fall in their lap, and no amount of rage baiting is going to change that. Grow a spine and ask someone out for a change, according to you it’s easy.

          • @monarch@lemm.ee
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            102 days ago

            So many men can’t understand that there is a diffrence from asking a woman in a bar on a date and being willing to accept a no and doing the same thing and throwing a hissy fit when they are not given what they feel they “deserve”.