I have the idea that parents are difficult to be around (especially towards their own children) to push their children “out of the nest”. I.e. it is not a natural “defect” that parents stop being acceptable people once their kids turn into puberty, but rather a feature of nature that is supposed to push teenagers out into the world to explore.
In other words, it’s a behavior that is meditated by signals: The parent gets the signal “my child is old enough to explore the world by themselves now -> push them out of the house”. That would imply that the signals can be identified and eliminated or reprogrammed to make parents more acceptable for their kids. Just a thought.
My guess is that if it were naturally preferable to keep kids in the house (for example because it’s too dangerous to go away from the house), then maybe parents would adopt to not push their children out of their house anymore.
I don’t know about that. I think in a lot of cases, it’s also down to our parents not getting any help for their mental health and not knowing how to deal with stuff they’re going through also making being around them a genuinely uncomfortable thing to do, even without anything like that going on.
That and a lot of people wind up having kids when they’re in no position to actually care for them and raise them properly, which aggravates the above, as well as providing material incentives to kick them out earlier.
That can work for some people, not for me though. I want some distance.
My parents live about a half hour away, and that’s a good distance: close enough that we can visit frequently, but far enough that we can claim we don’t have time. It works for us.
Yeah I’m not living with my mom thanks
Generational conflict is the other major factor. If the generation above me weren’t so difficult to be around it wouldn’t be so hard to imagine.
True. You generally aren’t treated with respect when you live under their roof so you gotta get out
I have the idea that parents are difficult to be around (especially towards their own children) to push their children “out of the nest”. I.e. it is not a natural “defect” that parents stop being acceptable people once their kids turn into puberty, but rather a feature of nature that is supposed to push teenagers out into the world to explore.
In other words, it’s a behavior that is meditated by signals: The parent gets the signal “my child is old enough to explore the world by themselves now -> push them out of the house”. That would imply that the signals can be identified and eliminated or reprogrammed to make parents more acceptable for their kids. Just a thought.
My guess is that if it were naturally preferable to keep kids in the house (for example because it’s too dangerous to go away from the house), then maybe parents would adopt to not push their children out of their house anymore.
I don’t know about that. I think in a lot of cases, it’s also down to our parents not getting any help for their mental health and not knowing how to deal with stuff they’re going through also making being around them a genuinely uncomfortable thing to do, even without anything like that going on.
That and a lot of people wind up having kids when they’re in no position to actually care for them and raise them properly, which aggravates the above, as well as providing material incentives to kick them out earlier.
These days it’s that they’re intolerable to.be around yet won’t let you explore the world on your own either.
What if you were neighbors? My family has talked about how cool it would be if we had like a family cul-de-sac
Hell no. I moved halfway across the country to get away from them, and it’s still too close.
My mother in law lives next door and we love it because we don’t have to worry about her but still have some distance
Yeah I wouldn’t mind that. My in-laws have a duplex but our aunt lives next door. If it wasn’t her, it would be us.
That can work for some people, not for me though. I want some distance.
My parents live about a half hour away, and that’s a good distance: close enough that we can visit frequently, but far enough that we can claim we don’t have time. It works for us.
I like the idea of doing a commune, preferably with better urban planning than a cul-de-sac