First rave I went to, with a dormmate, was mostly techno (as defined in 1997) with some HHC. Those tend to be pretty chill folks, which one might be surprised by, given the energy of the music. I still felt completely out of place, and she promised she’d take me to a better rave.
It would be another two years until I went to another party. Said dormmate came back from Texas for the summer and got me fully into the rave scene. I was at a bar a few months later in Victoria, B.C., where my girlfriend’s abusive ex accosted her. Only time I’ve fully sobered up instantly, just to get her out of there.
I had quite a few pleasant party experiences, but when shit goes south, it’s not a gradual process. In my experience, it’s been 0-60 in less time than it takes for Elon to go to 1939.
But it sounds like you’ve made a good friend. As to the one who got me into all this? She was the opposite … looked dyke as fuck but was actually straight … just more interested in being a catalyst than a partner.
What you have in common takes a back seat to whether you get along in any situation. Looking after each other is what matters; you did that; and she noticed and appreciated it. Lean into and appreciate these moments.
I tend to stick to smaller warehouse techno parties, they seem to keep out a lot of people who go to clubs to be showy rather than enjoying the music. I find the vibe to be overall more enjoyable.
I’m not too worried for my friend, she goes to parties and metal shows by herself all the time. I know she can handle herself. I think more than anything, she is just happy to have a safe person nearby.
This isn’t something unknown to me, I’ve helped so many other women that have come and gone in my life with creepy or manipulative men. It’s really nice when my friends show appreciation for me being there for them. I’d much rather spend my time being with them in the moment though.
I’m sure things are different now, but in my time, the sparkle ponies didn’t really bother with clubs; they went to the warehouse gigs, tiny Pikachu backpacks and all.
Clubs were actually far more – for lack of a better term – vanilla (not that people weren’t having sex in the washrooms). People just dressed in comfortable clothing in which to dance. The binkies came out at the larger parties.
I ended up with a few friends who were DJs, one of whom introduced me to a house I’d move into shortly after. House (and I mean the genre) parties in the basement happened weekly. It was a pretty cool setup … want to dance? Go downstairs. If not? Couldn’t really hear anything from my room on the second floor.
I spent more than my fair share of nights meeting women (almost always visiting from out of state and getting on a plane in the morning), chatting with them for a few hours and then having to help fend creepy guys off. That said, I was probably the creepy guy myself sometimes, as I still have shockingly little social awareness of my actions.
I took the opportunity in around 2016-2017 to live in Germany for a year on a work and travel visa. As the name implies, I was allowed to live and work in Germany as a way to support myself while I stay in Europe. I chose to stay in Berlin.
During the first couple weeks I went out with a couple people I met in my hostel. Went to a club that was this tiny, cramped little hole under a bridge called Golden Gate. First time being at a techno party ever. The vibe was so chill, the music was amazing and it was very obvious the people there were just for the music.
It felt so comfortable. I ended up going to so many different clubs and parties during my time there. Honestly one of the best years of my life and I’m grateful I had the opportunity to go.
I’m pretty autistic and loud noises really shut down the social part of my brain. I usually spend my time dancing and enjoying the music by myself in the crowd.
It must show because so many people come to dance by me, women especially. I never really say a word but the company is nice either way. Multiple times, women who were being bothered by guys would come dance by me so that the annoying guys will go away. Which is fine by me, even without saying a word, I can help people and it still feels good to me. I’m sure they appreciate it too because I assume they are there for the music too.
My semester in Germany was in a midsized city in Niedersachsen (you’ve likely heard of it … guy with a flute drowned the kids a while back) with all of one Disko. It was 1995, and I was 16, so there may have been house parties in town, but my classmates in Gymnasium weren’t privy to them.
The music at the Sumpfblume was unremarkable. Basically angry metal.
I went to my first regional burn last year and found my flow state for the first time in decades. I danced my ass off at various house and trance camps, oblivious to the outside world at times, and people started coming up to me because of it. It was an amazing experience that made me feel like a kid again – if I’d been on that many drugs as a kid!
First rave I went to, with a dormmate, was mostly techno (as defined in 1997) with some HHC. Those tend to be pretty chill folks, which one might be surprised by, given the energy of the music. I still felt completely out of place, and she promised she’d take me to a better rave.
It would be another two years until I went to another party. Said dormmate came back from Texas for the summer and got me fully into the rave scene. I was at a bar a few months later in Victoria, B.C., where my girlfriend’s abusive ex accosted her. Only time I’ve fully sobered up instantly, just to get her out of there.
I had quite a few pleasant party experiences, but when shit goes south, it’s not a gradual process. In my experience, it’s been 0-60 in less time than it takes for Elon to go to 1939.
But it sounds like you’ve made a good friend. As to the one who got me into all this? She was the opposite … looked dyke as fuck but was actually straight … just more interested in being a catalyst than a partner.
What you have in common takes a back seat to whether you get along in any situation. Looking after each other is what matters; you did that; and she noticed and appreciated it. Lean into and appreciate these moments.
I tend to stick to smaller warehouse techno parties, they seem to keep out a lot of people who go to clubs to be showy rather than enjoying the music. I find the vibe to be overall more enjoyable.
I’m not too worried for my friend, she goes to parties and metal shows by herself all the time. I know she can handle herself. I think more than anything, she is just happy to have a safe person nearby.
This isn’t something unknown to me, I’ve helped so many other women that have come and gone in my life with creepy or manipulative men. It’s really nice when my friends show appreciation for me being there for them. I’d much rather spend my time being with them in the moment though.
I’m sure things are different now, but in my time, the sparkle ponies didn’t really bother with clubs; they went to the warehouse gigs, tiny Pikachu backpacks and all.
Clubs were actually far more – for lack of a better term – vanilla (not that people weren’t having sex in the washrooms). People just dressed in comfortable clothing in which to dance. The binkies came out at the larger parties.
I ended up with a few friends who were DJs, one of whom introduced me to a house I’d move into shortly after. House (and I mean the genre) parties in the basement happened weekly. It was a pretty cool setup … want to dance? Go downstairs. If not? Couldn’t really hear anything from my room on the second floor.
I spent more than my fair share of nights meeting women (almost always visiting from out of state and getting on a plane in the morning), chatting with them for a few hours and then having to help fend creepy guys off. That said, I was probably the creepy guy myself sometimes, as I still have shockingly little social awareness of my actions.
I took the opportunity in around 2016-2017 to live in Germany for a year on a work and travel visa. As the name implies, I was allowed to live and work in Germany as a way to support myself while I stay in Europe. I chose to stay in Berlin.
During the first couple weeks I went out with a couple people I met in my hostel. Went to a club that was this tiny, cramped little hole under a bridge called Golden Gate. First time being at a techno party ever. The vibe was so chill, the music was amazing and it was very obvious the people there were just for the music.
It felt so comfortable. I ended up going to so many different clubs and parties during my time there. Honestly one of the best years of my life and I’m grateful I had the opportunity to go.
I’m pretty autistic and loud noises really shut down the social part of my brain. I usually spend my time dancing and enjoying the music by myself in the crowd.
It must show because so many people come to dance by me, women especially. I never really say a word but the company is nice either way. Multiple times, women who were being bothered by guys would come dance by me so that the annoying guys will go away. Which is fine by me, even without saying a word, I can help people and it still feels good to me. I’m sure they appreciate it too because I assume they are there for the music too.
My semester in Germany was in a midsized city in Niedersachsen (you’ve likely heard of it … guy with a flute drowned the kids a while back) with all of one Disko. It was 1995, and I was 16, so there may have been house parties in town, but my classmates in Gymnasium weren’t privy to them.
The music at the Sumpfblume was unremarkable. Basically angry metal.
I went to my first regional burn last year and found my flow state for the first time in decades. I danced my ass off at various house and trance camps, oblivious to the outside world at times, and people started coming up to me because of it. It was an amazing experience that made me feel like a kid again – if I’d been on that many drugs as a kid!