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GO TO THERAPY YOU TRAUMATIC FUCKS

Just break up already. Creating a tiny extra human is not going to magically fix all of your issues.

… of course that would create a paradox in which I was never born, hence not able to give her that advice … but seriously, the only reason I exist is because my mother didn’t want my dad to leave her, which is simply a shitty reason to become pregnant.

Throw a couple Apple shares in a college fund for me.

“Don’t have kids.”

Don’t.

If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn’t going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.

If you guys ever have kids, and one of them, when he’s eight years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug… go easy on him.

Validate your child’s feelings. Let them know that you understand that they are scared and that it is ok to be scared.

Don’t wait for me to graduate high school to get divorced. Just do it.

You have ADHD and your kids probably will too.

Physical punishment is traumatic, unhelpful and builds resentment.

Jumping on the “get a fucking divorce” train and adding “stop buying prepackaged overprocessed food, feed me some damn vegetables, and stop giving me so much goddamn sugar”

How about instead of cheating on my mom, teach me how to talk to girls… and don’t cheat on my mom lol

I’ll jump on the “just don’t” train. Like serious try again some other time but just abort this one