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@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 4 months ago

JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat

theonion.com

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JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat

theonion.com

@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 4 months ago
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PALM BEACH, FL—Noticing everyone else’s phone simultaneously buzzing throughout a meeting, Vice President-elect JD Vance began to suspect there was another group chat among Trump’s senior staff that he wasn’t part of, sources confirmed Monday. “It can’t be a coincidence that they all keep looking down at their phones and chuckling at the same time,” […]
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  • @BlueLineBae@midwest.social
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    58•4 months ago

    JD Vance only eats the cat food part of lucky charms pass it on

    • @motor_spirit@lemmy.world
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      16•4 months ago

      knew exactly what you meant and have never heard that before. Absolutely love it

    • @TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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      11•4 months ago

      JD Vance eats catfood? What a weirdo.

      • @Sanctus@lemmy.world
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        6•4 months ago

        What would you do if you found a can of cat food in my apartment?

        • @TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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          6•4 months ago

          Dim the lights. Two open cans of whiskers puree on the table. And lots of couch.
          It’ll cost you fifty to watch though.

      • @SuspiciousCatThing@pawb.social
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        2•4 months ago

        deleted by creator

        • @TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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          4•
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          4 months ago

          He eats pieces of shit for breakfast too?
          Oh boy

          (Sadly they’re making Happy Gilmore 2)

  • circuitfarmer
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    32•4 months ago

    Another group chat… couched in secrecy.

    Vance blushes furiously.

  • @athairmor@lemmy.world
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    31•4 months ago

    The eyeliner in that photo… 🤌 😙

    • @Exeous@lemmy.world
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      3•4 months ago

      I notice this, why he do that? Look so stupid.

  • @MidRomney@lemmy.world
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    23•4 months ago

    I know headline grammar is different than normal, but this one still sounds weird to me.

    • @TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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      18•4 months ago

      Yeah it seems like a typo. There -> there’s

    • 🔍🦘🛎
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      2•4 months ago

      🎵Code Monkey get up, get coffee🎶

      🎶Code Monkey go to job🎵

      🎵Code Monkey have boring meeting🎶

      🎶Boring manager Rob🎵

      • Flax
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        2•
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        4 months ago

        Rob say code monkey very diligent

        But his output stink

        His code not functional or elegant

        What does code monkey think?

        • 🔍🦘🛎
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          1•4 months ago

          What do* code monkey think

  • NegativeNull
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    22•4 months ago

    Vice Vice President Vance

    • mad_asshatter
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      17•
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      4 months ago

      President Musk
      First Buddy Donny
      VP Gilligan

    • Vox
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      4•4 months ago

      Vice to the President

      • NegativeNull
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        5•4 months ago

        Assistant to the Vice President

  • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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    18•4 months ago

    I laughed way too hard at this.

    Bro I know people like this. The JD Vances who are so obnoxious but only in the room because of some political BS. And we absolutely leave them out of the real discussion.

  • AmidFuror
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    12•4 months ago

    I also suspected this is the case when I read “Vance says Jan. 6 participants who committed violence ‘obviously’ shouldn’t be pardoned.”

  • @qarbone@lemmy.world
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    10•4 months ago

    I actually forgot JD was a political figure, let alone Vice President of the country.

    I literally thought “who?” when I read the hotline. It’s almost pitiful.

    But I will not spare pity for him.

    • Flax
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      2•4 months ago

      Not vice yet

      • @qarbone@lemmy.world
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        2•4 months ago

        Unless someone’s fermenting[sic] a rebellion or planning an Adjustment, I’m not sure how that is a meaningful distinction. His ticket won and is due to be sworn in this month.

  • @Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world
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    8•4 months ago

    Vance is a Thiel bloodboy. He’s working with Musk.

  • AItoothbrush
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    1•4 months ago

    Made me lol

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